“It was customary anciently for the bridegroom to pay a sum of money, according to his circumstances, to the father of his wife.  If he had no money, or anything of value, his labor was accepted for a stated length of time before he could obtain the daughter as his wife.  This custom [111]

 

“was considered a safeguard to the marriage contract.  Fathers did not consider it safe to trust the happiness of their daughters to men who had not made sufficient provisions to take care of a family.  If they had not ability to manage business, to acquire cattle or lands, they were afraid that their lives would be worthless.  But that the truly worthy should not become discouraged, a provision was made to test the worth of those who had nothing of value to pay for a wife.  They were permitted to labor for the father whose daughter they loved.  Their labors were engaged for a certain length of time, regulated by the value of the dowry required for their daughter.  In doing this, marriages were not hasty, and there was opportunity to test the depth of affections of the suitor.  If he was faithful in his services, and was otherwise considered worthy, the daughter was given him as his wife.  And, generally, all the dowry the father had received was given to his daughter at her marriage.

 

“What a contrast to the course now pursued by parents and children!  There are many unhappy marriages because of so much haste.  Two unite their interests at the marriage altar, by most solemn vows before God, without previously weighing the matter, and devoting time to sober reflection and earnest prayer.  Many move from impulse.  They have no thorough acquaintance with the dispositions of each other.  They do not realize that the happiness of their life is at stake.  If they move wrong in this matter, and their married life proves unhappy, it cannot be taken back.  If they find they are not calculated to make each other happy, they must endure it the best they can.  In some instances the husband [112]

 

“proves to be too indolent to provide for a family, and his wife and children suffer.  If the ability of such had been proved, as was the custom anciently, before marriage, much misery would have been saved.”  1SP:110-112.

 

“The family tie is the closest, the most tender and sacred, of any on earth.  It was designed to be a blessing to mankind.  And it is a blessing wherever the marriage covenant is entered into intelligently, in the fear of God, and with due consideration for its responsibilities.”  AH:18.5.

 

“God celebrated the first marriage.  Thus the institution has for its originator [26] the Creator of the universe.  ‘Marriage is honourable;’ it was one of the first gifts of God to man, and it is one of the two institutions that, after the fall, Adam brought with him beyond the gates of Paradise.  When the Divine Principles are recognized and obeyed in this relation, marriage is a blessing; it guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man’s social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature.”  AH:25.4.

 

“He who gave Eve to Adam as a helpmeet performed His first miracle at a marriage festival.  In the festal hall where friends and kindred rejoiced together, Christ began His public ministry.  Thus He sanctioned marriage, recognizing it as an institution that He Himself had established.”  AH:26.1.

 

“Christ honored the marriage relation by making it also a symbol of the union between Him and His redeemed ones.  He Himself is the Bridegroom; the bride is the Church, of which, as His chosen one, He says, ‘Thou art all fair, My love; there is no spot in thee.’ ”  AH:26.2.

 

“If those who are contemplating marriage would not have miserable, unhappy reflections after marriage, they must make it a subject of serious, earnest reflection now. . . It is from the marriage hour that many men and women date their success or failure in this life, and their hopes of the future life.”  AH:43.1.

 

“Most men and women have acted in entering the marriage relation as though the only question for them to settle was whether they loved each other.  But they should realize that a responsibility rests upon them in the marriage relation farther than this.  They should consider whether their offspring will possess physical health and mental and moral strength.  But few have moved with high motives and with elevated considerations which they could not lightly throw off -- that society had claims upon them, that the weight of their family’s influence would tell in the upward or downward scale.”  AH:45.3.

 

“Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy.  What has been his past record?  Is his life pure?  Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness?  Has he the traits of character that will make her happy?  Can she find true peace and joy in his affection?  Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? . . . Can she honor the Saviour's claims as supreme?  Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy?  These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation.”  AH:47.1.

 

“Even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect.  Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.”  AH:48.2.

 

“The ideas of courtship have their foundation in erroneous ideas concerning marriage.  They follow impulse and blind passion.  The courtship is carried on in a spirit of flirtation.  The parties frequently violate the rules of modesty and reserve and are guilty of indiscretion, if they do not break the Law of God.  The high, noble, lofty design of God in the institution of marriage is not discerned; therefore the purest affections of the heart, the noblest traits of character are not developed.”  AH:55.1.

 

“Not one word should be spoken, not one action performed, that you would not be willing the holy angels should look upon and register in the books above.  You should have an eye single to the glory of God.  The heart should have only pure, sanctified affection, worthy of the followers of Jesus Christ, exalted in its nature, and more Heavenly than earthly.  Anything different from this is debasing, degrading in courtship; and marriage cannot be holy and honorable in the sight of a pure and holy God, unless it is after the exalted Scriptural principle.”  AH:55.2.

 

“Satan exults and God is dishonored when men and women dishonor themselves.  The good name of honor is sacrificed under the spell of this infatuation, and the marriage of such persons cannot be solemnized under the approval of God.  They are married because passion moved them, and when the novelty of the affair is over, they will begin to realize what they have done.”  AH:56.3.

 

“There is in the Christian world an astonishing, alarming indifference to the teaching of God’s Word in regard to the marriage of Christians with unbelievers.  Many who profess to love and fear God choose to follow the bent of their own minds rather than take counsel of Infinite Wisdom.  In a matter which vitally concerns the happiness and well-being of both parties for this world and the next, reason, judgment, and the fear of God are set aside; and blind impulse, stubborn determination are allowed to control.”  AH:61.1.

 

“Never should God’s people venture upon forbidden ground. Marriage between believers and unbelievers is forbidden by God.  But too often the unconverted heart follows its own desires, and marriages unsanctioned by God are formed.  Because of this many men and women are without hope and without God in the world.  Their noble aspirations are dead; by a chain of circumstances they are held in Satan’s net.  Those who are ruled by passion and impulse will have a bitter harvest to reap in this life, and their course may result in the loss of their souls.”  AH:63.1.

 

“There are men of poverty and obscurity whose lives God would accept and make full of [64] usefulness on earth and of glory in Heaven, but Satan is working persistently to defeat His purposes and drag them down to perdition by marriage with those whose character is such that they throw themselves directly across the road to life.  Very few come out from this entanglement triumphant.”  AH:63.3.

 

“Satan well knows that the hour that witnesses the marriage of many young men and women closes the history of their religious experience and usefulness.  They are lost to Christ.  They may for a time make an effort to live a Christian life, but all their strivings are made against a steady influence in the opposite direction.”  AH:66.2.

 

“It is only in Christ that a marriage alliance can be safely formed.  Human love should draw its closest bonds from Divine Love.  Only where Christ reigns can there be deep, true, unselfish affection.”  AH:68.

 

AND HUNDREDS MORE.